Santa Claus is Coming to … Oak Ridge, Roatan?

Yep, it’s definitely too hot here for reindeer. But that doesn’t mean that Santa doesn’t come. He just does it Roatan-style.

On Christmas Eve, Corinne, Matt, and I took little Archer into Oak Ridge for Santa Claus’ annual visit. It was quite the adventure.

We were running a little late (normal for Matt) but sped out of Port Royal determined not to miss Santa. We zipped into the Oak Ridge canal and the slip at BJ’s with just a little time to spare. I hopped out of the boat and pulled her bow close to the dock. Matt reached around to reverse the engine to bring her backend to the dock, but he accidentally accelerated instead. In a mad burst, the boat slammed forward, tilted dangerously to one side, and crashed into the dock bar. Corinne and Archer were thrown backward and landed on the floor of the boat. Matt was almost tossed into the water. I stood there stupidly with my eyes bulging out of my head. When the throttle was released and we all calmed down, we were happy to find that everyone was OK. BJ’s dock got the worst of it.

It was a close one and a scary experience. Apparently, there is a reason everyone around here calls Matt “Mash-Up.” But we were all fine. And at the age of 1, Archer has now survived a stabbing and a boat wreck. What a tough little kid!

After crashing the boat, we needed a beer, so we headed inside BJ’s for a cold one while we waited for Santa. It wasn’t long before we heard the telltale screams of little kids cascading down the canal. Santa was coming! Santa was coming!!!

We ran outside to see Santa and his helpers (human and canine) approaching in a skiff. Here’s a couple of short videos of his arrival.





Santa greeted all the little children and handed out bags of chips and candy. He was jolly, loaded with goodies, and just a little drunk. He was also dressed for the weather in short pants and sandals.

After Santa left, we downed our beers and prepared to head back to Port Royal. As we were paying our tab, Santa’s helper returned for a vodka on ice. BJ gladly fulfilled the order on the house.

Full of holiday cheer, we all jumped back in the boat and pushed off the dock. And then … nothing. The engine wouldn’t start.

As we floated further and further from the dock and down the canal toward Jonesville, Matt tinkered with the motor. Still nothing. Corinne finally hailed a passing skiff and asked for a tow. A 10-year-old boy kindly obliged and pulled us safely back to BJ’s in a boat named Unexpected. How appropriate.

And what a great holiday adventure! Merry Christmas from Roatan!

Happy Holidays from Roatan!

So it turns out that it’s kind of hard to get in the holiday spirit when it’s 80 degrees and you’re dressed in a bikini and snorkeling fins. That probably doesn’t sound too bad for all of you in the States (where I hear it has been below 0 on a regular basis), but I do personally miss the warm, cheesy, sappy holiday traditions back home. So I’m trying to get in the spirit.

A couple of weeks ago, I put up two Christmas trees in the lodge restaurant. I thought it would help us get in the holiday mood. The trees are really cute and are adorned with island-appropriate ornaments. But for the most part, they just look funny. Here are a few pictures from the tropical tree:




And here are some of the pirate tree (you know how I love pirates):


We’ve also been listening to some Christmas music on the satellite radio, but it all just seems wrong. Although I hadn’t thought much about it before, I’ve realized that Christmas music is really cold climate-centric. All this talk about sweaters, snow, fireplaces, and reindeer … We don’t have any of that on Roatan.

Even the food doesn’t work for well us. The past few days, I’ve whipped up a few batches of toffee, peanut butter balls, and fudge (some of my family’s traditional holidays candies), but as soon as I take them out of the freezer, they begin to melt in the heat and humidity.

But we’re still trying. Last night, Driftwood, a sailboat that is currently moored in front of our restaurant dock, was lit up with Christmas lights. That made me smile.


Tonight, we’re having a Christmas Eve happy hour event on our neighbor’s over-the-water palapa bar. And tomorrow, we’re having all the gringos in the harbor (and all of the visiting sailboaters) over for a big Christmas potluck dinner. Beforehand, we’ll watch my favorite Christmas movie: A Christmas Story. Santa thoughtfully sent me a copy last week via air parcel service. I think it’s just too hot here for the reindeer.

When It Rains, It Pours

No joke. It really lets loose.

Here's a shot from 8:30 this morning just outside the office door. It was raining so hard that our satellite internet went out (again).

Howlin’ at the Moon

On Saturday, the moon popped over the horizon and lit up the whole harbor. You could see for miles.

It also seemed to get those glowing fish going again. The water around Royal Playa (where we were visiting for a barbeque) was filled with little swirling, glowing circles.

Pretty cool.

A Quickie Vacation

Terry and Patrice, the owners of the lodge, left this weekend after a 2-month stay. Seeing the end was near, we took advantage of the opportunity to get the hell out of Dodge and head down island with Matt, Corrine, and Archer (our neighbors and longtime friends) for a night of debauchery.

We started the adventure in West End, which is the nightlife hotspot of the island. Unfortunately, it was a Wednesday and quite dead, but it was a treat to us “East Enders” anyway. We don’t have any bars or restaurants to speak of in our part of the island, so just getting to order from a menu and see other gringos was fun.

Here’s a photo of the Royal Playa fam at Sundowners, a beach bar that’s popular with all the expats.

After happy-hour drinks, we headed down the sand road to Pura Vida for some Italian. We shared some fried mozzarella, calamari, and pizza, and Archer got his own plate of butter noodles.

Actually, that’s not quite true. Archer shared his dinner, too, albeit with some uninvited guests.

Afterward, we drove to West Bay and checked in to Infinity Bay. The hotel was quite luxurious and a splurge for us all, but it had air conditioning and cable TV. We spent the evening watching a goofy Christmas movie.

The next morning, we awoke to a nasty storm. The winds were howling, the rain was falling, and the waves were huge! Here’s a short video of the giganto waves crashing against the West Bay cliffs.

We curled up to indulge in some more TV (which none of us has back in Port Royal) and surfed between sports, CNN, a gruesome historical flick, and the Disney Channel. After another meal out and numerous stops to take care of miscellaneous errands, we headed back home, happy and relaxed.

Kobi Kabana

Kobi has been here almost 3 weeks now, and she’s settling in nicely.

She has found and made good use of the freshwater stream that runs through the grounds, and she has befriended (almost all of) the staff. I think they all like having her around and are most impressed by her furriness. (The local children chanted “Tigre! Tigre!” when we first brought her home. She is a huge contrast to the local short-haired, underfed island dogs.) Last week, I caught the fishing guides sharing their sandwiches with her at lunch. Unfortunately, she still barks mercilessly at Ana, our new cook, and Sailor, the resort dog, is still jealous.

Regardless, I’m very happy to have her here.

Blue Friday

Yes, it was a week ago. Yes, I’m slow. Nevertheless …

While you were fighting hoards of coupon-carrying scrooges through malls and big-box stores in the chaos known as Black Friday, I was munching a leftover-turkey sandwich and gathering seashells for my Christmas tree here.


The Pigeon Cayes are just about my favorite spot around Roatan. They are two tiny, sandy, palm-spotted islands in the ocean off the eastern end.

And they are postcard-perfect. Just beautiful!

(By the way, the photo I use in my blog header is also a photo from Pigeon Cayes. I took that one this spring. It shows two of the lodge's skiffs as well as our neighbors' skiff, which is dubbed "The Battleship.")

We’re baaaaack!

Whew! It’s been a while since the last post, but we do have a good excuse. We were back in the States!

While there, we split our time among Denver, Columbia (Missouri), and Cameron (Missouri). It was an absolute whirlwind--sometimes, even literally. I have a video of the crazy wind and tumbleweed we encountered on our drive across Kansas, but Blogger is cranky and won't let me post it.

[Added Dec. 5, 2008: Here's the video after a YouTube work-around.]



We managed to get a ton of things done while we were home and see a lot of friends and family. If you were one of them, thank you for taking some time out to visit. We miss you all and really enjoyed the chance to catch up. (And extra thanks to those of you who gave us a bed to rest our weary heads.)

We also managed (finally!) to get Kobi to Honduras. She’s settling in here and has been blessed with a recent cool streak in the weather. Here’s a picture from her first boat ride as we headed back to the lodge.

The Octopus’ Garden

I’m often amazed at the array of sea life we can see from our “front porch.” Kevin and I stroll the docks several times each day just to peer into the water and see what’s there.

There are always the usual suspects: grouper, barracuda, parrotfish, conch, needlefish, fry, and boxfish, to name just a few. Some of them actually live there full-time. Of these, my favorite is a large barracuda that I’ve named Barry. He’s almost always around the boats in the early mornings, and I make it a point to stroll by to check on him before I head to the office for work.

Here’s a photo our friend Jeff took of Barry while he was here.

And then there are times when we see something new. I’ve already posted about the glowing fish we saw a few months ago. While Jeff was here, we saw a sea horse, and we saw moray eels cruise by the restaurant almost every night. Here’s a photo Jeff took of the back half of one. I call all of them Murray.

Last night, Kevin spotted an octopus. Here’s a short video of him as he wanders around right in front of the restaurant dock. Big thanks to Kevin, who deftly handled the flashlight to serve as lighting technician, to make this one possible.

We were pretty entranced by this guy. The way he contracts and expands the web of his legs was beautiful, graceful, and, well, just pretty dang cool. If you look closely, you can also see a jellyfish cruise by in the lower-right corner.

Just a Quick Update

The good news is that the storm has veered south and is dissipating quickly, so we shouldn't see much wind. Only some more rains.

The bad news is that, although many businesses have reopened and most of the roads are now passable, we still can't get down island. At least, not to anywhere we actually need to go. The islanders have allowed most of the main road to reopen but are still blocking it in front of the power company. And the power company is between us and all the major banks, the big grocery stores, the hardware stores, and the airport. Things may get better soon, though. There is a Honduran futbol match tonight, and the rumor is that the protesters want to find a solution soon so they can go home and watch the game.

Go figure ...

Hold on to Your Hats ...

And now, we’re in the thick of it.

For the past few days, we’ve been keeping our eye on a weather disturbance (Invest 99) just south of us near the Nicaraguan coast. It has been intensifying and moving slowly our way. Today, it was upgraded to Tropical Depression 16, and it’s predicted to become a tropical storm over the next day or so. At this point, four of the six computer models on the tracking map project a path directly over the island. It won’t be a hurricane, but it’s raining cats and dogs already. We’ll likely see the worst late Wednesday into Thursday.

We have spent the day preparing as best we can for such short notice. Kevin took a boat to town to try to restock on food supplies and propane. He also arranged for a diesel delivery this afternoon. I pumped water to fill our reserves. We also got the lodge’s big boat out on a mooring to protect her from damage. We likely won’t need any of these extra precautions, but we want to be prepared just in case.

Complicating matters, we wanted to go down island to take care of some banking and procurement before the storm sets in, but we can’t get there. The islanders have been protesting the power company (which has doubled its rates in the past month) since Monday morning and have blocked the main (meaning only) road on the island. No one can travel anywhere unless it’s via boat or foot. That cuts us off from all of the island but our own port and Oak Ridge. However, most businesses are closed anyway.

At this point, the banks are closed, the grocery store is closed, and the roads are impassable. Oak Ridge is receiving no food or supply deliveries. A cruise ship turned away from port this morning fearing for passenger safety. A TACA flight did the same. The electric company employees are holed up inside and worried about their own safety. They say that if the crowd outside continues to press, they’ll evacuate to protect themselves and turn off all the power. This doesn’t affect us, as we produce all our own power anyway, but it certainly won’t help matters if/when the storm hits.

Are we having fun yet?

Keep your fingers crossed that the storm dissipates quickly. And don’t worry if we don’t respond to e-mail. We lose our satellite connection in heavy rains.

The Parrot Says …

I haven’t yet written about the menagerie here, but I’m going to sneak this post in anyway.

The lodge family includes one dog, a cat, and five parrots. Three are red-naped green parrrots, and two are yellow-naped ones. The yellows can talk. Patience, who is the oldest and best trained yellow, is the most vocal. She’s also the most particular. She likes men. She has a nasty habit of attacking women’s faces with a bloodlust, so we don’t handle her when the owners are gone. Pita, our younger yellow, is from this year’s brood. We handle her every day to socialize her and keep her sweet. So far, she does not attack. This is good.

Patience has a huge vocabulary of human words, phrases, whistles, and miscellaneous sounds. She says a lot of common phrases such as “How you doin?” and “pretty bird.” She also has some funny ones, such as “Wanna get the bird out?” Usually, she says these in the voice of the person who taught them to her. However, sometimes, she picks up phrases that we can’t figure out.

This is a short video that Jeff took of Patience last week. You can also see a short snippet of me trying to get Pita out of her cage at the end.

The question here is: What is Patience saying? My closest approximation is “I think Iraq is really a 12-year deal.” This seems pretty advanced (not to mention political) for a parrot, and we don’t know where she would have learned it. Kevin thinks she's saying something else.

What do you think she’s saying? I’d love to hear your interpretation. Leave a comment!

Pringles, Anyone?

Jeff has been impressed by many things during his visit to Roatan, but he was completely blown away by our Pringles!

For some reason, Pringles seem to be extremely popular overseas—much more so than in the United States. When Kevin and I were on safari in Africa five years ago, we came across a giant two-story Pringle can on the side of the road in the bush. It was a Pringles store—in the middle of nowhere.

Hondurans love their Pringles, too, apparently. We often can’t find American products when we want them at the local grocery stores, but they always have Pringles. Here’s a shot Jeff took at Plaza Mar of the Pringles section.

Unbelievable! And they have many flavors we have never even seen in the States. Yum! (And weird!)

Hey, Neighbor!

Last week, we were graced with the arrival of Jeff Kinsel, our friend and neighbor from Denver, Colorado. Jeff has taken a personal sabbatical of sorts from the drudgery of work and decided to visit us before he heads back into the real world.

Jeff was scheduled to leave on Saturday, but he is enjoying his time here so much, he has extended his stay until next Saturday. Between our work obligations here at the resort and the now increasingly more-common rains, we haven’t been able to do as much as we had hoped to entertain him, but we have had some fun. His first night, we managed to steal away for our first overnight away from the lodge. We spent an evening in West End, the tourist part of the island, where we enjoyed a good meal and a night out. We also experienced a small earthquake! It was a first for Jeff and me, but Kevin endured a much larger one a few months ago on the island. We have also snuck in a mangrove tour, a couple of snorkeling excursions, and a few hours of fishing. When we’re busy, Jeff keeps himself occupied by fishing off the dock, sailing our Hobie cat, taking photos and video (look for some upcoming guest shots), and bugging the cooks.


It’s been wonderful seeing a familiar face from home. If you need a vacation, keep us in mind!

Wrecks and Rainbows

On Saturday, Kevin and I slipped out for a couple hours of fishing. We didn’t catch anything, but we saw this rainbow on the way back through Old Port Royal.

Meet in the Middle

The big project of last week and this week is staining the wood decks throughout the grounds. The guys started last Friday on the cabana decks and walkways.

Here’s a photo of Kessel and Miguel, who, although good at teamwork, were not as adept at planning.

(Actually, they said they meant to do this because the stain dries quickly. But it was really funny watching them when they got to the middle!)

Stop and Smell the Flowers

As we move into another season, things continue to bloom around the lodge. Here are a couple of pictures of my most recent favorites.



We have also been visited lately by a yellow-crested night heron. He hangs out around the creek, where he has easy access to small fish. I’ve been trying for a few weeks to get a good picture of him, to no avail. Here’s a decent one from a couple of weeks ago.

Here’s one from last week after he caught a crab!

It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s … the US Coast Guard?

Wednesday morning we awoke to some excitement. I walked out on our deck at 6 a.m. and saw a few of our guys walking around on the docks. This meant something was up. Work doesn’t start until 7, and no one but the cooks wanders around until then.

When I went down, I saw the source. A huge US Coast Guard ship was circling out in the sea beyond our dock. It had stopped a shrimp boat from Jonesville and was sending a smaller boat over. They boarded and were there for a long time. For a few hours, the Coast Guard boat circled the sea, and the shrimp boat stayed in place. They were being searched.

According to our guys, the only time the US Coast Guard shows up around here is if they are tracking drug runners. Some of the shrimpers have been caught in the past running not shrimp but “white grouper,” a local name for the packages of cocaine that sometimes wash ashore here.

We watched for awhile, but we didn’t see anything terribly incriminating from the distance. Eventually, the shrimper went home, and the Coast Guard sailed away. However, the guys worked extra hard that day at clearing the debris that had washed ashore … just in case the shrimper had managed to bail her load of white grouper before she was boarded.

And This Little Piggy Went Wee-Wee-Wee …

It has been a busy week, so I’m just now catching up on some posting. I have been in the kitchen almost nonstop since last weekend filling in for two of our cooks, who were both in La Ceiba on the mainland. I usually enjoy cooking, but cooking three meals a day—all from scratch—gets old. And hot. Especially on a tropical island.

We knew our cooks would be gone, and it was only supposed to be Kevin and me, so it didn’t originally seem like much of a problem. I would just cook up some easy meals to keep ourselves fed. However, Ike threw us a curveball.

Our guests from the previous week were supposed to go home on Saturday. They were scheduled to connect through Houston. But Houston closed its airport. And Continental didn’t do anything to rescue its full plane of people stranded on Roatan. Continental flies only one flight each week this time of year (the very slow season), and they stuck to it. Our guests couldn’t find any reasonably priced alternative to get home, so they stayed another week. And I had to cook all the meals.

However, I did get one reprieve. Monday was Honduras’ Independence Day. To celebrate, Oak Ridge planned a parade of all its schools’ marching bands. BJ planned a pig roast. I wanted to see both. In the end, we missed the parade. (Apparently, they started at 7 in the morning so the poor kids wouldn’t die marching in the hot sun.) But we did eat some pig.

BJ and Carmen did a great job, but they didn’t plan quite as well. They started the pig in the oven and intended to finish it on the grill. However, when they transferred it outside, they quickly realized the pig wouldn’t fit. So they cut it in half. Still too big. Then they broke off its legs. That worked.

It was delicious, and I didn’t have to cook. I was a happy camper.

Holy S#^t!

Yuck, yuck, yuck!

What started as a relatively benign problem became a major pain in the arse this week. You see, since I’ve arrived, we’ve had a recurring problem with the toilet in our casita. It would intermittently block up, but after a few days, it would seem to correct itself and return to normal. However, by late last week it was stopped up more often than not. By Tuesday, it was a goner. It became apparent we would have to take action.

On Thursday, we put our guys to work finding a solution. However, this was much more complicated than we had anticipated. After initial inspection, we surmised that the problem was in the plumbing, which consists of a vast array of PVC pipes buried underground throughout the grounds. No one knew where the pipes led or where the clog was in the pipes. The only solution was a blind hunt.

The guys began at the source and dug until they found pipe. They then extrapolated from their location to a point the pipe might logically continue. (This, of course, was complicated because the pipes are connected by a number of 90-degree elbow joints.) Then they dug. Sometimes, they found pipe; sometimes, they didn’t. When they did find pipe, they banged on it to see if it was hollow or full.

On the first day, they were making great progress. They were following the pipe and in one exploratory hole found two pipes. The guessed one was fresh water and one was our sewer. As they dug further to determine which was which, they dug a little too hard and struck a live one.


You should have seen Miguel’s face when the water started squirting 12 feet in the air. He didn’t know which pipe he had ruptured and was scared to find out. It turned out to be fresh water, which was good for Miguel, but bad for us. We now had a 12-foot spurt that was draining our entire water supply for the casita, the main lodge, and the staff house.

So our priorities immediately changed. Now we had to cut off the water supply. Another blind hunt ensued as the guys ran around the grounds shutting off miscellaneous water valves (which are all tucked inside PVC pipes with small wooden lids that just barely protrude from the ground) trying to find the right one. We couldn’t find it. Finally, we called in Tie-Tie, our general mechanic and excellent problem-solver. He eventually found the correct valve hidden underneath a rock. (I have no idea why.) They turned off the water, fixed the pipe, and started digging more holes.

We resigned ourselves to using the facilities in the restaurant, 82 steps down at the bottom of the property near the water.

So ended Day 1.

Day 2 eventually ended in success. After rupturing two more water pipes, the guys located the blockage. It was directly beneath a run of sidewalk about 15 feet long. Ugh! They ended up digging holes on each end, cutting the sewer pipe, and shoving a length of narrower PVC through the pipe until the stoppage cleared. Then they fixed the pipe, filled all the many holes back in, and sprinkled bleach around to cut the horrid smell. Then they restored our water.

Last night, I was excited to have a toilet again. Before bed, I happily trotted to our bathroom where I promptly discovered a tarantula on the bathroom floor. But that’s another story …

So Long, Summer

It appears the seasons are changing here, at least as much as they do change on a tropical island. The winds have died down, and the temperatures are heating up. In another month or so, we’ll likely be in rainy season.

In late summer, we had a profusion of new blooms throughout the grounds. My favorite was the Flamboyant Tree. We saw these throughout Africa, and I was very happy to find several on our grounds. They only bloom once a year, but when they do, they are spectacular. As the summer winds down, our Flamboyants are clinging to their last few blooms. But here’s a picture of one at its height.

It’s Not Easy Being Green

On Tuesday, Perry, one of our fishing guides, found a beautiful green turtle. He was fishing with a guest when he saw a group of children throwing rocks at something in the water near the shore. Soon, this little guy came swimming by. Perry noticed he had been “kept” and dived in to get him.


Perry brought the turtle back to the lodge and later delivered it to his sister, who has rehabilitated turtles in the past. At least, that’s what he told me. He ensures me I can visit any time to check up on him. I really just wish he had never been caught in the first place.


Note the hole that has been drilled in his shell and the attached wire to keep him from wandering. Poor little guy.

Just another bit of “ugly” here on the island.

Creepy Crawlies

Roatan is full of beautiful things. Beautiful seas, beautiful plants, beautiful sunsets … But it also has some uglies.

Here’s a collection of creepy crawlies I saw this week.

Walking Stick
Actually, this guy isn’t ugly at all, but he is crawly. Kevin and I found him on the outside of our house one morning. I used to see walking sticks all the time in Missouri, but none of them was as large as this one.



Boa Constrictor
This guy isn’t technically crawly, but he is ugly (at least, to me) and very creepy. Perry, one of our guides, found him lounging atop the light on the back porch of the restaurant kitchen (about 6 and a half feet up) Wednesday morning. He hung there most of the day.

I have no idea how he got there or how he got back down.

Tarantula
The tarantula is creepy and crawly. Kevin found him at the top of the stairs when we were on our way to bed Thursday night. (Yes, it was night. My camera apparently has a killer flash.) He was big – about 6 inches long. He’s pretty cool, though.

Say What?

Communication problems are pretty common for us on Roatan and a good incentive for me to continue practicing my Spanish. I have a few words, but not enough to get through every situation. And then there is the local language …

Most of our staff members speak English, Spanish, and a local island patois that is a sort of mix of English, Spanish, and Carribe with strong Southern and Irish undertones. (I think some of this goes back to the pirate history of the place.) They generally speak the local island talk (of which, I catch about every fourth word) with one another and a much clearer English with us and our guests. However, there are still misunderstandings.

Last week, Terren, one of our neighbor’s workers, came over by boat. He found Kevin and announced that Matt needed to borrow a “wow.” Kevin and I looked at each other in bewilderment. We asked him to repeat it several times, but all we could get out of him was a “wow.” We had no idea what it was, so Kevin led him up to our tool bodega to look around. Terren rooted through a few tool boxes until he found a valve.

This made sense in an island way. The islanders tend to switch all their “v”s to “w”s. I’m not sure they use “v”s at all. We first noticed this a while back when the grounds guys started the yearly chore of “warnishing” (varnishing).

Then a few weeks ago, Delia asked me to pick up some nice soap for her at the grocery store. “What kind do you want?” I asked. “Dow,” she replied. I thought about it, and realized she wanted Dove.

We generally do pretty well, but we still are stumped here and there. However, it’s still better than my Spanish.

You Need This Hoseclamps?

So one of the things I have been learning is how to conduct business island-style.

Everything here is complicated by our remoteness and our lack of telephony. We actually possess two cell phones, which is great, in theory. In reality, the two cell phones only work if you stand in a certain three-foot-square area near the window in the office, the winds are low, there are few clouds, and Venus is aligned with Jupiter under a waxing moon. So we often have to be creative.

We recently were informed by Luven, our marine mechanic, that we needed to purchase new hose clamps to connect the fuel lines of the fishing skiffs to the fuel containers. So on our next trip down island (which is its own story in inefficiency), we searched high and low, but none of the marine supply shops had hose clamps.

“That’s OK,” said Luven. “You can order them from La Ceiba.”

La Ceiba is on the mainland, which is within calling distance of anyone with a cell phone that works. Ours, of course, wouldn’t. So we e-mailed Lagoon Marine.

Lagoon Marine indeed did have hose clamps, but Rita, the owner, was unsure which kind we needed. There were no parts numbers or size specifications, so we weren’t sure. Lagoon Marine has no Web site to consult, and there is no parts book. We went back and forth with Rita via e-mail, but we couldn’t figure out if the clamps she had were the correct parts. We were at a loss. But then Rita had an idea. She e-mailed us this photo:


Yes! Those are the hose clamps we need!

Now we had to figure out how to get them here. We also have no postal service on Roatan. (“What?” says my mom. “I’ve never heard of such a thing!”) In fact, not a single road has a name for a postal service to navigate by, even if there was one. And we live in an area with no roads. So we have to send everything by ship or plane. We e-mailed Rita back and arranged for her to ship the hose clamps on the ferry.

A few days later, Rita informed us that the hose clamps were on their way. We got in the boat, rode to Oak Ridge, transferred to the minivan, drove down island, went to the ferry terminal, and secured possession of our elusive clamps.

But then we had to pay Rita. We wrote a check, stuffed it in an envelope, addressed it to Lagoon Marine, and gave it to the ferry shipping lady. She asked what it was. “A check,” said Kevin. This wouldn’t do. The ferry refused to handle checks.

So we drove further down island to the airport. There, we were able to send the check on the next island-hopper over to Rita.

We drove the minivan back to Oak Ridge, transferred to boat, rode home, and e-mailed Rita to go to the airport in La Ceiba for her payment. All was done.

Whew! The whole process took about two weeks, and we were quite relieved when it was over.

A few days later, Luven dropped by to work on the boats. We took him inside and proudly unveiled the hose clamps.

“What are those?” he asked.

“The hose clamps for the skiffs,” said Kevin.

“No,” Luven replied. “I said hose clips.”

This is business island-style.

Glowing Fishes and Island Wisdom

Last night, we had another wonderful surprise from Mother Nature. After dinner, Kevin and I went outside to see the moon again but found something even better. In the water just in front of the restaurant were small pools of glowing green swirls.

Yes, the picture sucks. (I already told you I don’t know how to work my camera.) But the effect was amazing.

The swirls were excretions from small fish that were all swimming in circles and drifting across the water on the tide. The next day, I asked Miguel, one of our fishing guides, what they were. He said they were fry, which is what the islanders call all little fish, it seems. So that wasn’t much help. But he also said that it was a sign that we would soon be rich (or poor, which is probably more likely the case).

The islanders have all kinds of local wisdom. Here are just a few they’ve shared since we’ve been here:

• If you walk barefoot on the floor, you’ll get a sore throat.
• If you get hot and then go for a swim, you’ll get a cold. (We have to plan the staff’s work around this one sometimes.)
• If it rains while the sun is shining, there will be an earthquake.
• If you see a glowing light in the woods, it is a duppy (ghost). If you see a light in the same spot three times, it is a duppy showing you where a pirate treasure is buried.

I am especially hoping the last one is true!

Goodnight Moon

In all the crazy, it’s easy to forget what an amazing place this is. Sometimes, however, Mother Nature stands up and forces you to take notice.


This is last night’s moonrise over the Cow and Calf, two small islands just off shore from the lodge. Beautiful.

Come and Knock on Our Door …

Last week, we received our first personal guest in Roatan: our dear friend Joe. It was quite appropriate, really. Joe has lived in Africa most of his life, and until 5 years ago, none of his overseas friends had ever come to visit him. Kevin and I were his first guests. Now he is ours.

Joe thinks Roatan is swell.

This isn’t Joe’s first time on the island. Three years ago, while Kevin and I were visiting our friends Matt and Corrine next door, Joe scooted over from El Salvador (where he was visiting friends) to spend a few days with us. We met him down island and rented a place in West Bay to have a little fun. However, it was in the middle of a tropical storm, and it rained buckets. We only left our house to eat and get beer.

This time, we did a little better. We fished (with no luck) and snorkeled (much better), but mostly, we just hung out and caught up. And got destroyed by bugs. But it didn’t rain.

Happy Birthday, Honduras-Style

Today is the birthday of Dalia, one of the cooks. She is 21. For the past three weeks, Dalia has made a production of her upcoming birthday. She insisted numerous times that she didn’t want anyone to know that her birthday was coming (which meant, of course, that she did).

The reason Dalia didn’t want anyone to know her birthday was approaching was because of the way birthdays are celebrated in Honduras. In the States, your friends and family bake you cake, serve you ice cream, and sing a happy song for you. In Honduras, they make you a cake, quite literally. Dalia explained that, here, if it is your birthday, your friends and family throw eggs at your head (the number of eggs corresponds to your age) and then dump flour on you. Then they throw you in the water. Sounds like fun, I guess, unless you are the birthday boy or girl.

Last night, Kevin and Joe (our friend visiting from Africa) gave Dalia a wonderful Honduran birthday celebration, complete with eggs and flour. This morning, she took a dip with Sailor, the lodge dog, in an attempt to get the egg out. It was a mess.



Happy birthday, Dalia!

BJ's

In Denver, we were regulars at Tuesday and Friday happy hours at a neighborhood pub called Patrick Carroll’s (or, as we affectionately referred to it, PC’s). We loved catching up with our friends and neighbors and, sometimes, meeting new friends. In Port Royal, we have no such thing as a local pub or even a local tienda. In fact, there’s pretty much nothing here but our neighbors.

What we do have is a bit further away (about a 15-minute boat ride) in Oakridge. It’s BJ’s Backyard. We stop at BJ’s each time we go down island. In fact, it’s here where we transfer from boat to vehicle and vice versa. So we’re obligated to stop in and say hello and drink a Coke or beer each time we do so.

BJ’s is a lot like PC’s, in a way. We meet all sorts of friends and neighbors whenever we pop in, and we always meet a few new folks, too. We also refer to it by its initials.

Unlike PC’s, BJ’s is on the water, it has a parrot, and we never get to stay very long. Also unlike PC’s, no one at BJ’s is confused about which restroom to use. PC’s had signs outside the bathroom doors for “Lads” and “Lasses.” For some reason, a relatively large number of people had no idea what this meant. On more than one occasion, I encountered a stray man in the women’s room, and I saved many more on the brink of embarrassment and guided them to the correct destination. BJ’s also uses unorthodox signage, but no one here gets confused.

Bonus tidbit for the week:
Several employees asked for loans this week. All had some sort of reason that they explained in detail. The best was from Randy, who explained that he needed a loan to pay a doctor. It seems his son was bitten by a shark while swimming and had to go to the doctor for injections and general cleanup. Randy didn’t seem particularly concerned, so I’m not sure if it’s true. But what a great excuse!

Flipping Out in Punta Gorda

On the camera crew's first day here, I escorted them down island to see some of the local sites of interest. We finished the day in Punta Gorda, a Garifuna community on the north side that was established in 1797. The people were incredibly friendly.

We met this young guy on the beach. He was quite the entertainer and had a particular talent for doing flips off a boat.

Not so cute (and shown in the last picture) was his penchant for flashing gang signs.

That's a Take!

So many of you know that we hosted a TV crew my second week here. It was, well, it was challenging, to say the least. The four of them had had a little too much together time (they spent a few weeks in Bolivia prior to arriving in Roatan) and were at each others’ throats throughout the visit. Kevin and I spent a lot of the week playing therapist and trying to salvage their relationships so we could get our promised footage.

Here's a shot of an interview Kevin and I did to promote the lodge.