Santa Claus is Coming to … Oak Ridge, Roatan?

Yep, it’s definitely too hot here for reindeer. But that doesn’t mean that Santa doesn’t come. He just does it Roatan-style.

On Christmas Eve, Corinne, Matt, and I took little Archer into Oak Ridge for Santa Claus’ annual visit. It was quite the adventure.

We were running a little late (normal for Matt) but sped out of Port Royal determined not to miss Santa. We zipped into the Oak Ridge canal and the slip at BJ’s with just a little time to spare. I hopped out of the boat and pulled her bow close to the dock. Matt reached around to reverse the engine to bring her backend to the dock, but he accidentally accelerated instead. In a mad burst, the boat slammed forward, tilted dangerously to one side, and crashed into the dock bar. Corinne and Archer were thrown backward and landed on the floor of the boat. Matt was almost tossed into the water. I stood there stupidly with my eyes bulging out of my head. When the throttle was released and we all calmed down, we were happy to find that everyone was OK. BJ’s dock got the worst of it.

It was a close one and a scary experience. Apparently, there is a reason everyone around here calls Matt “Mash-Up.” But we were all fine. And at the age of 1, Archer has now survived a stabbing and a boat wreck. What a tough little kid!

After crashing the boat, we needed a beer, so we headed inside BJ’s for a cold one while we waited for Santa. It wasn’t long before we heard the telltale screams of little kids cascading down the canal. Santa was coming! Santa was coming!!!

We ran outside to see Santa and his helpers (human and canine) approaching in a skiff. Here’s a couple of short videos of his arrival.





Santa greeted all the little children and handed out bags of chips and candy. He was jolly, loaded with goodies, and just a little drunk. He was also dressed for the weather in short pants and sandals.

After Santa left, we downed our beers and prepared to head back to Port Royal. As we were paying our tab, Santa’s helper returned for a vodka on ice. BJ gladly fulfilled the order on the house.

Full of holiday cheer, we all jumped back in the boat and pushed off the dock. And then … nothing. The engine wouldn’t start.

As we floated further and further from the dock and down the canal toward Jonesville, Matt tinkered with the motor. Still nothing. Corinne finally hailed a passing skiff and asked for a tow. A 10-year-old boy kindly obliged and pulled us safely back to BJ’s in a boat named Unexpected. How appropriate.

And what a great holiday adventure! Merry Christmas from Roatan!