You Need This Hoseclamps?

So one of the things I have been learning is how to conduct business island-style.

Everything here is complicated by our remoteness and our lack of telephony. We actually possess two cell phones, which is great, in theory. In reality, the two cell phones only work if you stand in a certain three-foot-square area near the window in the office, the winds are low, there are few clouds, and Venus is aligned with Jupiter under a waxing moon. So we often have to be creative.

We recently were informed by Luven, our marine mechanic, that we needed to purchase new hose clamps to connect the fuel lines of the fishing skiffs to the fuel containers. So on our next trip down island (which is its own story in inefficiency), we searched high and low, but none of the marine supply shops had hose clamps.

“That’s OK,” said Luven. “You can order them from La Ceiba.”

La Ceiba is on the mainland, which is within calling distance of anyone with a cell phone that works. Ours, of course, wouldn’t. So we e-mailed Lagoon Marine.

Lagoon Marine indeed did have hose clamps, but Rita, the owner, was unsure which kind we needed. There were no parts numbers or size specifications, so we weren’t sure. Lagoon Marine has no Web site to consult, and there is no parts book. We went back and forth with Rita via e-mail, but we couldn’t figure out if the clamps she had were the correct parts. We were at a loss. But then Rita had an idea. She e-mailed us this photo:


Yes! Those are the hose clamps we need!

Now we had to figure out how to get them here. We also have no postal service on Roatan. (“What?” says my mom. “I’ve never heard of such a thing!”) In fact, not a single road has a name for a postal service to navigate by, even if there was one. And we live in an area with no roads. So we have to send everything by ship or plane. We e-mailed Rita back and arranged for her to ship the hose clamps on the ferry.

A few days later, Rita informed us that the hose clamps were on their way. We got in the boat, rode to Oak Ridge, transferred to the minivan, drove down island, went to the ferry terminal, and secured possession of our elusive clamps.

But then we had to pay Rita. We wrote a check, stuffed it in an envelope, addressed it to Lagoon Marine, and gave it to the ferry shipping lady. She asked what it was. “A check,” said Kevin. This wouldn’t do. The ferry refused to handle checks.

So we drove further down island to the airport. There, we were able to send the check on the next island-hopper over to Rita.

We drove the minivan back to Oak Ridge, transferred to boat, rode home, and e-mailed Rita to go to the airport in La Ceiba for her payment. All was done.

Whew! The whole process took about two weeks, and we were quite relieved when it was over.

A few days later, Luven dropped by to work on the boats. We took him inside and proudly unveiled the hose clamps.

“What are those?” he asked.

“The hose clamps for the skiffs,” said Kevin.

“No,” Luven replied. “I said hose clips.”

This is business island-style.